For the First Time
by iamtheoutlaw
Summary: After falling, Cas finds the bunker. But happens after that? Feels. Teeth brushing. Shopping. Cussing. Erections. iPhone's. and most importantly . . . life.
1. Gravity is Undeniable

BIG THANKS to both my beta's Mad_Hatter_Usagi and LucifersHitman

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><p>Cas falls and finds the bunker.<p>

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><p>Cas has been walking for hours and crying for even longer, it's taken him almost two days to relocate the Winchester's new home without his grace. Now, leaning on the closed doorway to support himself, Cas contemplates knocking. Once again, Cas has messed everything up, and once again Dean tried to warn him, tried to get Cas to think things through. But of course Cas, being the ignorant, not to mention arrogant, angel he was, didn't listen. He knows Dean must have seen the angels falling and Cas can't even picture how Dean's going to react when he opens the door and sees Cas on the other side. If he had his wings right now he would probably fly off, but here Cas is, sweaty and tired, with nowhere else to go. He needs Dean now in every way imaginable. Like Dean once needed Cas to keep <em>him<em> safe, but he probably won't need him anymore, since he's now powerless and useless. Cas, with tears still rolling down his cheeks, straightens up and adjusts his trench; looks at the hard wood in front of him, sucks down his worries, and knocks on the door.

* * *

><p>Dean's pacing back and forth, stressing about Cas and Sammy. He's been a nervous wreck since he saw all the angels fall two days ago and Sam isn't getting any better. Sam hasn't been able to get out of bed for the past two days, and Cas is nowhere to be found. Dean's called hunters, psychics, anyone he can think of to try and locate the fallen angel, but no dice; leaving Dean starting to lose his mind without his family intact, and pacing back a forth like its actually going to help his situation. Dean's been at the same pace for around thirty minutes, contemplating his next course of action. Nothing is coming to mind, and then suddenly a loud, unfamiliar knock startles him out of his on-going thought process. Dean instantly springs towards the noise, the pounding gets louder as Dean rushes towards it. He knows it can only be one of two people, Charlie or Cas, he's praying to God—who Dean knows is long gone—that it's Cas.<p>

He swings the door open to find Cas red-eyed and dirtier than Dean has ever seen him. Cas is maintaining his composure better than Dean expected, since he was imaging so many terrible things, including Cas already popping pills, or drunk like the Cas he met in 2014. But Cas looks sober, just tired and out of tears. Cas meets Dean's eyes and begins to sniffle and softly cry. Seeing the angel—_former angel— whatever_ Cas is, with salty tears streaming down his cheeks almost makes Dean lose it himself.

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><p>Dean opens the door and for a moment all Cas's worries are gone. He sees Dean and, at first, becomes overwhelmed with warmth and happiness.<em> Feelings,<em> Cas realizes, feelings he's never felt in all his years of being an angel.

When Cas focuses in closer, he sees the way Dean's face is wrinkled from all the worrying; and the guilt, the nasty bitterness that's been stinging Cas's insides these past two days, takes hold of Castiel again. He looks in Dean's eyes, something he's yet to do as a human, and this time he sees _nothing._ Normally he can see a reflection of Dean's thoughts, Cas had always been able to see what Dean's feeling; but this time he only sees Dean.

Castiel stares, and all he sees are beautiful green eyes that are beginning to grow teary, and a thick five o'clock shadow. He sees a chiseled jaw and sharply defined cheek bones sprinkled with light freckles. Cas sees the man he once raised from perdition, but this time as he stands in front of the righteous man, it's different than all the others times before. This time he's numb to the hunter, Cas can't feel Dean at all, only himself.

The only thing Cas is feeling is his heart stop. For a minute Cas thinks he might actually die, that his heart might actually be falling out of his chest; but he soon realizes it's nothing but a sensation and, even though Cas is trying so hard to hold back, he instantly start to cry.

* * *

><p>Dean, not wanting to see Cas like this, reaches out and grabs him by his tattered trench coat's lapel with a firm, sweaty fist, and pulls Cas in close. Noting the feeling the former angel's new found heat against him. Cas actually hugs back this time, and Dean soaks up every new, lean muscle he can now feel. After instantly wrapping and holding Cas in his arms, Dean squeezes him as tight as he can. Dean never meant for this to happen, and he wants to put every inch of his regret into this one action.<p>

This is all his fault, he thought, if he wouldn't have pushed Cas away, because of his own anger the last time the angel visited, then he never would've ran off and signed up with Metatron in the first place. Dean, feeling tears sting his eyes, fights back his own desire to cry and holds Cas even tighter. Trying his very best to let Cas know everything will be alright by pressing their rapid heartbeats together.

If only he and Cas could ever be on the same page. Dean feels like ever since he met the angel they've either been one step behind, or one step in front of each other. Dean wants to comfort Cas, but he has no clue where to start.

Still in contemplation, Dean decides, when nothing better comes to mind, to start with something small and simple by saying, "it's okay Cas, it's not your fault."

Cas pulls back a bit, although keeping his arms still firmly around Dean, and gazes quizzically up at him.

"What did you just say?" Cas asks.

"I said it's not your fault," Dean repeats, letting his tight hold falter a little to back up and get a better look at Cas.

* * *

><p>Cas, unlike the first time, stops his crying and actually listens. He listens to Dean's words, words that Dean has said to Cas on multiple occasions, but this time something's different. Something new inside Cas has burst open, something warm and delightful. A sensation of pure bliss, that's overwhelming and just plain strange.<p>

"Say that again," Cas asks as he looks back up and meets Dean's steady gaze.

Dean looks up as if he's contemplating his actions for a second, then brings his unfaltering, green eyes back down to meet Cas's and repeats himself again.

Upon hearing Dean's forgiving words again, Cas instantly smiles, because he realizes what's different this time. Unlike as angel, when Cas was far too stuffed with grace, keeping him overly-humble; this time, Dean's words sink in, this time Cas can actually allow himself to believe what Dean's saying.

Whereas before, though Cas would act like he believed Dean, he really wouldn't, knowing deep inside that Dean was wrong. This time, after feeling that peaceful burst inside of him Cas was actually able to.

Cas also realizes that what he's feeling warming and probing his insides are probably emotions, which are what Dean feels all the time, and they are _tiresome,_ Cas admits to himself.

Cas gives Dean a small smile, and sniffles as he wipes his nose onto his filthy sleeve, "you really think so?" Cas asks.

* * *

><p>Dean is beyond shocked by Cas's reaction, since he's expecting Cas to stay resistant like he always has when Dean tries to comfort him. But, ignoring the strange change in Cas, Dean offers him an equally matching toothy smile; and trying to spill out every ounce of heart Dean can manage into his reply he says, "yeah Cas, I mean Metatron had me fooled too."<p> 


	2. Choking on Toothpaste

Cas has an interesting encounter with minty bubbles, not to mention stubborn blood flow.

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><p>Even though Cas knows, as an angel, he never would've believed Dean; he lets himself believe this time because that's what his body is pushing him to do, and it's the easiest thing to do. Being able to agree with Dean—finally—after all these years of disputes might help Cas mend their ongoing broken relationship.<p>

Dean lets go of Cas, and Cas reluctantly pulls away, following the hunter inside. Cas is now and will forever be more than grateful to have Dean. Not all humans are as forgiving and caring as Dean is, but Cas supposes that he's only correct in thinking that, after all Dean is the righteous man.

Silence fills the spaces around them, intertwining in all the crevasses, sending Cas uneasy rumbles through his chest. Leaving him scared, awkward, and wanting to break the steady quiet. Cas wants to ask Dean about Sam but he can't bring himself to. Cas has no clue whether Dean was able to stop his brother from completing the trials or not; and even if Dean had stopped Sam, Cas has no idea what kind of condition Sam would be in. Anything is better than dead, he thinks. He finds, as a human, it's harder to ask the 'difficult questions.' This being one of those, as an angel he wouldn't bat an eye at asking such a simple three worded question, 'how is Sam?' Now, however, despite how many times Cas tells himself, 'it's okay just ask,' he can't bring himself to ask.

Cas, finally gaining the courage, opens his mouth to speak but just as he does, Dean's cell phone starts to ring. Dean pulls his phone out of its snug place in his left jean pocket and answers quickly; before Dean can even form a 'hello,' Cas hears a babbling, high pitch voice squeaking through the tiny speaker at mile a minute.

Cas studies Dean, normally—Cas thinks— this sort of thing would piss Dean off, but not this voice on the other line. Dean just shifts and listens intently to the ongoing sentences protruding from the other end of the line.

Finally, Dean sighs, and gives the person an answer, "yes we're all fine Charlie, well at least not dead, and definitely not monster food."

That gives Cas his answer about Sam and he lets out a relieved sigh. Dean notices and flashes Cas a small smile.

The voice gets going again, then Dean says, "Ok see you then, be careful," and hangs up the phone.

"Who's Charlie?" Cas asks and he's not quite sure why that's the first question that surfaces, but it is. Surely as an angel he never would have been concerned with a mysterious voice on the phone.

Dean gives Cas a soft smile and replies, "she's a friend of mine and Sam's, a good friend."

Cas smiles back at Dean's dapper expression; but something, telling Cas he should be scowling instead, tightens in his gut. Yet another feeling Cas wishes he didn't have to identify, "Oh, I didn't realize you had any friends I didn't know." Cas adds, giving in a little to the demands of his new emotions.

"Well you're about to meet her," Dean looks at the clock on his phone, "in about twenty minutes, so boot up."

Cas scrunches his brow, and looks at Dean quizzically. _Why would Cas possibly need to put on boots to meet one of Dean's lady friends? _

Dean's concerned face lightens, seeming to understand Cas's confusion, and he laughs softly to himself before providing an answer to Cas's blank stare, "she's—ah—just a little intense."

Cas nods in understanding, he really needs to write down every human expression he doesn't understand and study them to avoid looking stupid in the future. Dean smiles back at Cas, a sort of light, toothy smile; a smile Cas has seen many times before, but now, as his and Dean's eyes meet, is sending a funny, tingling sensation straight to Cas's gut.

"Well first thing's first I guess," Dean closes the small gap between them and begins to take Cas's trench coat off, "you smell disgusting man."

After Dean gets Cas to the bathroom he starts to explain the basics, which instantly turns Cas's mood sour because honestly, does Dean really think Cas is a baby in a trench coat without his powers? He's been watching humanity for his whole life, Cas knew the correct way to take a shower before all the humans even figured it out.

"I know how to shower Dean," Cas begins sourly, "just because I don't have powers anymore doesn't mean I'm a baby." Cas finishes as sternly as possible, keeping his eyes on Dean, whose expression instantly falls into to one of the saddest looks Cas has ever received from the hunter.

"Look Cas I never should have said those things to you, okay?" Dean begins, "Because I didn't mean them at all. Even without your powers you are the smartest, most kick ass guy I know," Dean tells Cas, giving him a little smile. But Cas doesn't smile back because he doesn't believe Dean one bit, because Cas is weak, and definitely not 'kick ass' now.

"Then why did you say those things? If you didn't mean them," Cas asks, still staring Dean down.

Dean instantly gets uneasy as soon as the words leave Cas's mouth, Cas can tell by the way Dean's shoulders tense that Dean doesn't want to answer the question. But Cas isn't going to back down, he needs to know.

"I guess I just didn't want you being reckless and getting hurt." Dean answers after a moment, though his words are quick and rushed.

Before Cas has time reply Dean is talking again and moving towards the door, "anyways, Charlie's gonna be here soon…so get yourself washed up and come out here when you're done. Remember to put my clothes on before you come out, I left some on the counter for you. We don't want Charlie abandoning her lifelong goal of picking up pretty women just because she catches a glimpse of you. She already thinks you sound dreamy."

Again, before Cas can even ask why Charlie's biggest goal would be picking up women—because honestly who picks up women for fun? It seems very tiring on the back—Dean is slamming the door in his face. Leaving Cas full of questions and starting to sweat again from the steamy shower running next to him.

* * *

><p>Dean cleans up a bit while Cas is showering so everything looks good for when Charlie gets there. All Dean can think about is the conversation Cas and him just had. <em>'I'm so fucking stupid,'<em> Dean thinks to himself, _'I really need to watch what I say.'_ After wiping all the countertops Dean finally hears the Vader intro of their secret knock at the door. He races up the stairs two at a time and swings the heavy wooden door open to find Charlie on the other side, standing bright eyed and a bushy tailed as ever.

She leaps at Dean with all her intensity and grabs him up in the biggest hug her little arms can manage, "Deeeeaan!" She shrieks, "I've missed your punk ass so much!"

Dean smiles warmly against her soft, red hair and wraps her up in his arms with the same intensity right back, "you too, Charlie," Dean replies, after a couple of seconds of taking in the smell of lavender shampoo and bubblegum lip balm that is Charlie's unforgettable aroma.

Dean escorts the hacker to what they call the living room and makes sure she is nice, comfy, and has a drink in her hands before he spills the news.

"Cas is here," Dean blurts out rather randomly, but he couldn't really think of any other way to bring it up.

Dean realizes that it was probably a bad idea, getting Charlie a drink first, because now she's choking, and the coke she meant to swallow is shooting out her nose and landing all over Dean's favorite rug.

"Wait, what!?" she nearly screams, and then takes a minute to wipe her face on the black sleeve of her hoodie before continuing, "like the angel Castiel?" she asks once her face is ridden of all the sticky beverage.

"Yeah that one, but some shit just recently happened and he's actually not an angel anymore so just avoid bringing that up for now, okay? I promise I'll explain," Dean tells her and Charlie nods. The last thing Dean needs right now is to start crying to Charlie about 2014, when Cas could be out of the shower any minute.

Quickly moving on to the next subject, being the awesome friend she is, Charlie asks, "So I know you know about Carver Edlund's books, but have you ever heard of a Supernatural convention?"

Dean laughs from his spot across the table and explains, "yeah Charlie, been there, done that."

Charlie smirks, and pulls out her phone, and starts searching through it quickly. Once she finds what she's looking for, she clicks on it and then smirks even more deviously to herself before holding it up to show Dean.

If Dean would have been drinking something, then they definitely would be having a repeat of what just happened with Charlie. Because plastered across Charlie's screen is a picture of two _guys_, one dressed up like Dean, from the brown leather jacket to the beaten boots. The other one is dressed up like Cas, backwards tie and all. But these men pretending to be them isn't the worse part—the worst part is that they're _kissing!_—fucking _making out! _

In the corner of the picture Dean sees Charlie smirking with her thumb up, clearly taking the picture with her front camera. Dean looks up to see Charlie wearing the same smug grin she has on in the picture.

"What the hell Charlie!" Dean forcefully yells, while shoving the phone back at her. Charlie just cracks up, and right when she opens her mouth to answer Dean, Cas enters the room.

"Cas!" Charlie shrieks, and instantly darts over and wraps him up in her arms, "I know you don't know me but I feel like I already know you, well with how much Dean talks about you!" Charlie pulls off and adds, "I'm Charlie by the way."

* * *

><p>The shower proves to be more of a task then Cas realized. Maybe he should have taken Dean's advice after all. First off, the water is too hot, so Cas turns the knob upward towards the blue stripe indicating 'cold.' Only, then the water turns icy and Cas is seriously tempted just to get out and say screw the whole ordeal. But Dean did say he stunk, and Cas really doesn't want to give this Charlie girl a bad impression. Now that Cas is human he figures he needs Dean's friends to like him; friends being a necessity to people who can't fly anywhere and smite anyone they want. So Cas messes with the knob a few more times until he's found a degree that's tolerable, ending up with a lukewarm spray washing down on him.<p>

Next comes shampoo. Cas grabs the black bottle labeled _shampoo,_ and begins scrubbing his scalp. The suds feel good massaging his head, that is, until a painful, burning sensation starts swelling in his eye. Again this small, human task has outsmarted him. He quickly rinses his burning eye, along with his soapy hair, out under the heavy spray; regretting yet again his decision to believe Metatron. Cas grabs the bar of soap next and lathers himself up, and then rinses under the spray a few more times for good measure.

Cas steps out carefully, making sure not to slip on the wet tile. The last possible thing Cas needs right now is a fractured skull. One time he saw Dean slip like this, as the hunter rushed to get out of the shower, and it looked like Dean had been in so much pain. Cas wanted nothing more than to go to Dean and heal him. Although Cas was too scared, and far too ashamed to let Dean know he'd snooped in on his shower time. Dean gets weirded out by Cas watching over him while he sleeps, Cas can't even imagine how angry Dean would be if he caught Cas lurking around during his shower time. Later on, the night Cas had seen Dean fall, Cas stopped in and pretended to notice the lump on Deans head. After pleading with Dean for nearly fifteen minutes, Dean finally gave in and let Cas heal it.

Cas dries off, finishing off the process by ruffling his sopping hair with the fluffy, damp towel. Cas takes a few careful strides and reaches the sink, looking up to find the mirror. Cas stunned by his own reflection, how his now wet hair is sticking up and flying aimlessly around his head. Cas tries to mash it down by using his damp, wrinkled hands to smash the stuck up, misbehaving hairs; but his efforts prove to be pointless and after a few minutes he finally gives up, with his hair still looking wrecked.

Taking a minute to look over his new body he notices, for the first time, his nakedness and wonders if this is how Eve felt the first time that she, too, realized she was showing parts that she shouldn't. Cas is experiencing a strange, and overwhelming feeling, that keeps shouting in his head, 'look at you, you're not even good enough to be a human.'

Cas has never looked at his own body like this before, now starting to better identify his new feelings and emotions, he realizes this overwhelming one he feels now is brand new. Feeling what he can only label as _embarrassed,_ Cas self-consciously compares Jimmy's—well his—body to Dean's.

This giving him less comfort than before, only leaving Cas with a further disintegrating ego, when he realizes that Dean is way stronger than him now and Dean also knows how to make his hair look good all the time; which Cas is clearly incapable of.

Still gazing in the mirror Cas thinks back to all the times Crowley called him flattering pet names, and how that old women called him pretty, and Cas wonders for the first time if he actually is—by human definitions—handsome? The old lady had thought she was talking to someone named Charles, so that really can't be used as evidence. Cas also decides Crowley's flattery can't be used because Crowley has pet names for everyone, including some rather wild ones for Sam and Dean. Cas, although, does have one piece of evidence to support his human cuteness. A piece he has forever kept at the back of his mind, willing himself not to think about.

It was the time when Dean had almost said yes to Michael, Cas and Sam were locking Dean up in Bobby's panic room. Cas, nearly on the edge of exploding because he couldn't bring himself to hurt Dean anymore, was enraged and starring Dean down with all the wrath of heaven. Dean, being Dean, of course had to make a joke out of the situation by saying, "you know Cas, last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid."

Cas has never let himself think about that moment again, until now at least— and now— more than ever with all these new emotions bursting inside of him, Cas is confused. But he figures there is no use dwelling on it, and Cas, with his new found feelings especially won't be able to figure it out; so he lets his thoughts drift a bit.

Cas checks out his shoulders, they are way smaller than Dean's, but are still rather broad. He looks down at his own left shoulder, the corresponding shoulder to where Cas knows his hand print still reddens Dean's skin. After acknowledging this, Cas instantly gets all tingly inside his abdomen area.

He, Castiel, was the one to pull the righteous man out of hell; and what a righteous man Dean turned out to be, Cas thinks. Thoughts of when he claimed Dean's soul warm his belly now, causing violent tugs from his neurons; telling Cas to move the muscles in his cheeks and grin. A new feeling, different than the tingling, pulls tightly at his lower stomach muscles.

Cas notices a movement in the mirror and looks down to find himself fully aroused and—to say the least—Cas freaks. Not wanting to touch his new found hardness and make the situation worse, Cas throws his hands up instead and grips his hair tightly, messing up the wet mess more. If Dean ever knew about this he would _kill_ Cas. Dean already lectured Cas about watching porn in front of him, saying 'dude you can't watch porn in front of other guys,' Cas can only imagine Dean's reaction to finding him fully aroused from solely thinking about Dean.

Cas quickly changes his thought process to his brothers and sisters who fell along with him. His whole mindset shifts instantly and it only takes him a minute of thinking about all the other Angels who don't have a home as welcoming as Sam and Dean's to come home to, to soften Cas back to normal.

Now a little sad, but mostly relieved that Dean won't find out, Cas gets dressed. Dean's shirt hangs loosely around him, but it smells like cheap detergent, and sugary apples. Cas never realized before, but the smell of Dean is probably the best smell his nose has come across yet. Cas takes a few long sniffs and feels the steady tug at his stomach again. Quickly halting his smelling, Cas finishes dressing, sliding easily into Dean's boxers and trying his best to not think about how tight they fit him—and Cas certainly_ isn't_ thinking about how tight they must be on Dean—not a bit.

Thankfully, Dean must have foreseen his jeans being too big on Cas because Dean left a belt. All Cas has left now is the task of brushing his teeth, which shouldn't be so hard, _right?_ Cas squeezes the toothpaste out slowly, and patiently, yet somehow an ungodly amount still plumps itself on top of the bristles. Not wanting to waste it Cas sticks the whole ordeal in his mouth and scrubs. The minty-ness makes Cas want to puke, and then some of the foaming bubbles try and slip their way down his throat causing Cas a gagged out choke. White bubbles fly all over the bathroom, splattering the mirror and marble counter top.

"Damn it!" Cas swears with the toothbrush still hanging out of his mouth. Normally he isn't the swearing type but being human seems to have already changed that.

He spits the rest of his toothpaste into the sink, and cleans up the mess he made. The last thing Cas wants is to do is explain how he covered Dean's bathroom in white stuff by choking on his toothbrush.

Stepping out of the bathroom Cas hears loud, high-pitched laughter. That must be Charlie, Cas thinks, alright- game time.

Cas enters the living room, and sees one of the most beautiful, cheery women he's ever laid eyes on. The female, _Charlie,_ warms Cas by giving him a wide, toothy grin.

"Cas!" Charlie basically shrieks and instantly leaps forward to wrap her small arms around him. Being in her embrace is calming, but it's nothing like Dean's was—comforting, needy, and all-fixing—hers is more exciting, friendly, and welcoming.

"I know you don't know me but I feel like I already know you, well with how much Dean talks about you!" Charlie says, and Cas's heart flutters. Maybe he doesn't have to get Charlie to like him; maybe Dean already said enough good things about Cas that she will automatically like him. "I'm Charlie by the way," she adds as she pulls away.

Now feeling a bit awkward out of Charlie's tight embrace, Cas steps back a bit, "ugh nice to meet you too?" he says because Cas isn't really sure what the customary reply is when someone jumps him, tells him they already know who he is, and tells him what their name is.

She continues to warmly smile in his direction, and then she reaches up and runs her hand through his hair. Cas's cheeks instantly start to blush realizing his hair is still stuck up like it was in the bathroom, and he remembers what he was going to ask Dean if Charlie wasn't here when he got done showering, turning to Dean he says "Will you show me how to do my hair like yours?" He directs his gaze towards Dean's perfectly neat, spiked hair, "I can't get it to stay like how it used to correctly."

"Sure," Dean answers almost immediately, "but I was just about to make us some dinner, you gotta be hungry right?" Dean asks, and Cas nods, because—yes—he is so hungry. "Okay then I'll go whip us up some burgers, and you can get to know Charlie a little."

Before Cas can answer Dean is turning, and striding off towards the kitchen, yelling behind to Cas, "and I promise I'll show you later."


	3. Bouncy Red Hair

_"Instantly, Cas pictures some priest in the future reading something like, 'then Sam caressed the demon's breast,' 'Dean and Sam creep next to the random car, smashing the window open and stealing themselves a new ride,' or something like 'Dean gazed deeply into the angel's eyes thinking about how much he lo—no' wait what?"_

* * *

><p>Cas is worried things are going to be awkward, but they're not. Charlie is really good at talking, and Cas wishes he could keep a conversation like Charlie can. She tells him how she met Sam and Dean, apparently she 'kicked some serious leviathan ass with them.' Then she goes on to tell Cas that Charlie isn't actually her name, but it's her favorite name she's ever gone by, and the one she was using when she first met the Winchesters. She also explains why she has to switch names all the time, it's got something to do with 'sticking it to the man.'<p>

She also tells Cas a story about Dean and Sam randomly running into her at her LARPing game. Charlie goes on to explain all about LARPing, apparently 'it's the best shit ever thought of,' and 'Dean and Sam are seriously the best at it.' 'They seriously almost caused the other teams to piss their pants,' Cas isn't exactly sure he's following everything Charlie's saying but he gets the jist of it, and Cas can picture, very vividly, Dean in a medieval costume. He totally _doesn't_ get that pooling tug in his gut again.

When Charlie finally pauses and Cas has the opportunity, he speaks up, "I'm really glad I met you, I mean, it's nice to meet people Dean's so fond of."

"Thank you, I'm glad we met too, I've really been dying to," Charlie shoots him a delighted smile. Cas, for a second, almost stays quiet and doesn't tell her the rest that's on his mind but his curiosity gets the best of him.

"I was really nervous to meet you, earlier Dean told me you were," air quote, "intense," air quote, "and that I shouldn't leave the bathroom without dressing first because you thought I was dreamy and I might ruin your lifelong dream of picking up girls," Cas lets out a long breath, but he keeps going because Charlie looks very interested, and almost amused. "And I just don't get why you would pick up girls for fun, I mean isn't that hard on the back? And do you really think I'm dreamy? Because I was just looking at myself in the mirror and, I just, I don't really know. It's stupid," He finishes.

That's it, Cas has officially struck out in maintaining his angel-ness. First not even being able to take a freaking shower correctly, then nearly choking on freaking toothpaste, and now spilling his freaking guts out to this girl he just met. Oh, and apparently Cas is thinking in swear words now also.

Charlie burst into laughter before Cas has too much time to fret, "Dean knows me better than that," she gets out in between her laughs, "like I would _ever_ give up on the ladies."

_Oh!_ Of course, "you're homosexual," Cas says aloud as he discovers it. She continues to chuckle but her giggles are slowing down rapidly.

"What a bright one you are," she jokes and Cas feels the warmness of red creeping up his cheeks again, "and yes, I thought you sounded very dreamy, and you are nearly a perfect specimen of man, you have nothing to worry about in that department."

The blush that was creeping now covers Cas's whole face almost instantly, and he turns to look at the floor, trying to hide his pleased smile. His efforts prove to be useless when Charlie moves to sit in the chair next to him and grabs Cas up by his chin and makes him look at her, saying, "I'm serious, the most important thing about owning a body is feeling comfortable in it."

Then all of the sudden she's up and twirling around the table singing some song Cas doesn't recognize, bright red hair swooshing behind her. "And that's how it's done ladies, and gentleman," Charlie adds as she plops back down in the chair next to him.

Cas doesn't know if Charlie knows the whole story, about him falling, but she definitely knows exactly what Cas needs to here, "you really are great you know that?" Cas tells her.

"Yes, I've heard," she says smiling, "after all I am queen of Moondor."

Next Charlie asks Cas if he's ever read Chuck's books, only she calls him Carver Edlund. Cas says no, but he explains to her all about the times he's met Chuck, the nervous mess Chuck is, and how all the books would one day be part of the Bible called the Winchester gospels.

Charlie's mouth drops in awe, and she literally squeals something like, 'oh my Vulcan one day I'm gonna be in the Bible.'

"Wait so you mean you're in the books? Does it say your name?" Cas asks—wait—"am I in the books?"

She grins rather, well, slyly and Cas almost thinks there's something creepily knowing about it. "Why yes, Castiel, you are quite a huge friggin' part of the books," she explains.

Cas furrows his brow, why would he be in the books? The other parts of the Bible being written so poetically and vague; giving the reader room to use their own imagination in deciphering the meaning behind the words. A lot of the Archangels never even get mentioned by name, so why would Castiel?

"Um, well let's see here, you—freakin' badass I might add—pulled Dean's fat ass out of hell, full on rebelled against heaven just because you believed in Dean so much," she itches her nose then continues, "it's just really beautiful, Chuck romanticized it so much."

"What do you mean romanticized it?" Cas asks, Cas always thought he was the only one who thought of their story as a classic tale about love, loss, and desire.

"Well I mean, he just, well he totally kinda of makes you guys gay for each other," Charlie admits quickly and Cas almost chokes on thin air.

Gay for each other? Like happy for each other? Or like together? Oh no, I guess that's why Dean hates the books so much, of course Dean would hate the idea of him and Cas—you know—_getting together._ Dean's made it almost overly obvious that he likes women, multiple times.

Cas is nearly on the brink of hyperventilation. His eyes, surely, bulging out of his skull. Charlie reaches out and grabs his hand from her seat, "Whoa there, it's not that deep, Chuck just must see things in his visions differently, you know?"

"Out of context," Cas adds, but he doesn't explain what he means. Charlie seems to understand enough, if the smug look on her face, and the way she twirls her finger through her fiery hair is anything to go by.

They change the subject rather fast, because Charlie says, "I can't imagine any super religious people reading those books."

"Why not?" Cas asks, and before Charlie starts to answer she's already grinning. "Its just Sam and Dean live very _full_ lives, and Chuck is a very vivid writer," she explains.

Instantly, Cas pictures some priest in the future reading something like, 'then Sam caressed the demon's breast,' 'Dean and Sam creep next to the random car, smashing the window open and stealing themselves a new ride,' or something like 'Dean gazed deeply into the angel's eyes thinking about how much he lo—no' _wait what?_ No, definitely, not that. But anyway, the priest might actually die, and despite his little slip up, Cas cracks up at that image forming in his head.

Charlie soon joins in on Cas's laughter, and they both have a good five minute laugh. Cas has never laughed like this, well at least not since that night at the brothel with Dean. The feeling of letting his, long past due, laughs out really warms Cas from the inside out and keeps an enormous grin plastered across his face.

As if on cue Charlie mentions something about that night at the brothel, "I was thinking about some super religious mom reading the chapter about the time Dean tried to get you to fuck a hooker."

Cas, now picturing the same thing, falls into near violent laughter this time. At least he didn't actually sleep with the poor girl.

"Can you imagine the look on that poor woman's face, she'd be like 'oh god, I really have to read this to my daughter someday?'" Charlie adds, and they both burst into laughter again.

With Cas and Charlie both howling still, they barely notice Dean enter the room with three plates stacked up his arms, until he sets them on the table with a loud clatter. They both abruptly cut out their giggles and look up at Dean.

"Looks like I'm missing out on the fun?" Dean smiles warmly, only looking at Cas, who looks back with a shy smile and a slight creeping redness coloring his cheeks again. Blushing is a strange feeling that he never experienced as an angel; but as it keeps happening Cas realizes he actually kind of likes it.

Dean doesn't really seem to care that Cas and Charlie are having a good time without him, he's just looks genuinely glad that they're getting along.

* * *

><p>Dean's honestly just extremely happy to see Cas talking at all. He can't even fathom what it must feel like to have something so dear, something that's been a part of Cas for so long, just suddenly stripped away. Dean remembers the Cas he met in 2014, and he never wants to let <em>his<em> Cas turn into that. Not that Cas is _his_ or anything, just you know, from his time period.

Cas, still blushing—and Dean totally _doesn't_ think it's the cutest thing he's ever seen—answers Dean, "We were actually just laughing about how you and Sam's story is someday going to be read by priest and mothers, and according to Charlie, Chuck writes very vividly."

"Yeah, I bet he does, fuckin' creeper." Dean adds before sitting down in the chair on the very end of the table, just to the left of Cas, and sliding his burger with him.

Dean has never read Chuck's books, at least not since that one weird ass time at the laundry mat. It kinda scares him honestly. The fact that Chuck can somehow magically see their lives. _Oh shit,_ a protruding thought enters his head and Dean internally freaks out at the new idea—what if Chuck can see what Dean's thinking? Dean realizes he really needs to get his hands on some of these books.

"It's not the prophet's fault he sees your life Dean," Cas explains, "although it would help if he saw things in context."

Cas is trying to hide a smile, until Charlie cracks up beside him. As Charlie breaks, Cas also lets himself burst into laughter. Which leads Dean to believe he's been left out of yet another inside joke.

Though Dean is confused, and obviously missing out on a lot of new jokes, he has still never been happier, this moment—looking between his two best friends cracking up—is perfect. Sure, Cas fell, and Sam's still sick, but Sammy is gonna get better, Dean can tell; and Cas, well Cas looks happier than Dean's ever seen him. Dean lets himself watch as Cas's loud roars of laughter slowly fade into soft chuckles. He notices underneath Cas's three day beard, the fallen angel's hidden dimples, and his faint wrinkles. He can't wait to see how Cas starts to age, Dean briefly wonders who will get grey hair first, him or Cas.

Cas's long eyelashes catch Dean's attention as they flutter open and closed with his fading laugher. He's so beautif—Dean starts to think, but instantly cuts his thought short. Dean has always thought Cas is a handsome guy, but that doesn't mean he needs to thinks about Cas _like that._ For all he knows Chuck is listening right now!

"I'm guessing I missed something," Dean asks, glancing between a winded Cas and a giddy Charlie.

"Oh yeah, big time," Charlie explains, before Cas can answer. Dean is really hoping to hear about the inside joke from Cas. Although Cas never speaks up, instead letting his head drop and quickly starting in on the burger Dean made him.

Charlie and Cas both complement Dean on his superior chief skills. Cas is in total awe about how much flavor Dean's burgers hold, Dean supposes that would be his reaction too, if the only kind of burger he ever ate was from white castle.

Once they all have moved on to the fries, Cas asks about Sam, and Dean's heart melts a bit. Even with Cas having so many issues of his own he still makes it a priority to ask about Sammy. Dean explains that he's basically been asleep the whole time since the ordeal. But he reassures Cas and Charlie that Sammy'll be fine. Going on to explain how the color in Sam's face is almost completely back, and how today he actually got Sam to eat some breakfast.

Their plates are nearly done when Charlie, all of the sudden pipes up, asking "why don't you let me take Cas to the mall and buy him some of his own clothes?"

Dean wants to disagree, wants to say 'no, I'll take Cas myself,' but he knows Cas is in dire need of some clothes his own size, and someone needs to stay here with Sam, and Crowle—_oh fuck!_ Dean forgot to tell Cas about Crowley.

Dean agrees, only after asking Cas if that's okay with him first, and Cas grins a big "yes, that would be lovely."

"Good, cause I know if you take him shopping it'll be somewhere that only sells freaking flannels and blue jeans," Charlie declares, as she pushes her plate further away from her, indicating she's ready to go, "Cas needs to know there are more places to shop then the salvation army."

Charlie stands up and fixes herself, dramatically flipping her hair back in place. As she walks around to the other side of the table and grabs her bag, she hums. The way Charlie, no matter what's going on around her, can always hum a happy beat is one of the hundred reasons why Dean loves her.

As Cas stands, Dean realizes he should probably inform them about the other two people living in the bunker, now rather than later. Cas is going to be pissed, but not as pissed as he would be if he found it out on his own, "hey, um, so there are some other new people living here too," Dean spits out quickly.

"Who is it?" Charlie asks before Cas can.

Dean, still looking at Cas, answers, "Crowley, and Kevin."

No wonder Dean looks so worried, Cas definitely has a problem with that. The last time Cas saw Crowley the demon shot him and pulled the angel tablet out through his skin. Cas huffs a reply, "seriously? I thought Sam didn't go through with it."

"He didn't, but since I didn't do any of the other trials, curing a demon didn't affect me like it would have Sammy. So I finished it." Dean explains, eyes still focused on Cas.

Not feeling a very happy about sharing a home with the former demon, Cas huffs out a sound that resembles a growl, then turns to leave while stating, "whatever, but don't expect me to be nice to him."


End file.
